Ridiculously Epic…

Right and wrong are just words. What matters is what we do

And so it begins…

on October 21, 2010

I’ve been really wanting to start a blog for a while, so I tried back in January when I was a nanny. That worked for a few months until they put their kid into daycare and I lost my job. I want to blog – I want people to read my blog and think I’m funny and clever, and just enjoy my thoughts and ramblings. I used to be a HUGE blogger and would blog all the time about all the stupid trivial things that I found important in high school…and for a little bit in college, but then it just got less important. Not that what I have to say is any more important now than it was 5 years ago…I just miss it.

And so much has changed in 5 years. 5 years ago I thought that Kevin was the ONE, and that we were going to get married and have adorable babies and life was going to be perfect and that I was going to be a preschool teacher forever. But life isn’t perfect – Kevin and I have been broken up for 6 months and I lost my preschool teacher job 10 months ago. I still look fondly on my memories and time with Kevin, but it’s time to move on. I think we both fell out of love with each other a while ago, but kept going because we were comfortable and it was good enough. Then good enough just didn’t work – it couldn’t work – anymore. It’s really disappointing and shitty when that happens, but what can you do? (My friend Meryl has some really great thoughts on this actually…) Since December 2009 I just keep reminding myself that “It is what it is” and that “There’s no use in crying over spilled milk.” The past is the past and you can’t do a damn thing to change it, so why dwell? Why continue putting yourself through hell or leaning on the past to get you through the present? When the past was great but the present sucks, you have to focus on making the present better however you can – and typically it’s not by living in the past.

So here’s to the future. The future of me, Jessi Dumas. Whatever my future holds, whoever my future has waiting for me – I’m ready. I’m ready for the challenge, and I’m ready to make it work in whatever way needs to be done. Life is too short, you have to enjoy what you can now – live your life and don’t pass up opportunities that will keep you playing the “What if” game later on in life. Who knows where I’ll be in the next 5 years, but wherever it does…I’m ready. Are you?

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