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Size Matters

on February 18, 2014

It has bothered me for months that I can only compare the size of my growing child to fruits or vegetables. At first, it wasn’t bad. I could easily visualize how big the Tiny Human inside of me was when my Baby Bump app said that he was the size of a blueberry, avocado, even onion. But once I hit week 19 things started getting fuzzy. As a non-tomato eater I know there are grape tomatoes and then bigger-than-grape-tomatoes. So when week 19 told me that Tiny Human was the size of an heirloom tomato, I was having difficult visualizing it.

That’s when I hit The Goog in attempts to find some type of baby size chart that was more tangible, something that I could relate to easier than some of the upcoming comparisons. Every fracking result was fruits and vegetables!!! How difficult is it to give women (and men) a more realistic idea of how big their baby is?

So I took it upon myself to search Google for things that were the same size as these fruits and vegetables I was getting. WASTE. OF. TIME. Every time I tried searching, I would just get images of women’s torsos with said fruit/vegetable next to it or a link to yet ANOTHER website with a fruit/veggie comparison. Regardless of what I typed in for the search. Eventually I just gave up, and started picturing my Tiny Human smooshed into the shape of the fruit/veggie-of-the-week (usually after searching for what the veggie of the week looked like if I wasn’t sure).

I did eventually find 2 different sites that gave comparisons that were not fruits/veggies. They are both great in helping me visualize better, but sadly both are catered to the dads. This is disappointing to me. Why is this targeted at dads? Neither my husband or I know what some of these vegetables look like, so why are these non-fruit/veggie comparisons just for dad? I call bullshit. Just because I am a woman, I should innately know what a hothouse cucumber (week 26) looks like? Or how big a “small” cantaloupe (week 20) is in comparison to an “average” cantaloupe (week 34)? At week 25, Tiny Human was the size of a rutabaga. I’ve been sharing these fruit/veggie comparisons with some friends over the weeks, and only one knew what a rutabaga looked like. Either we are all terribly uneducated on vegetables, or these size comparisons are weird. I vote option #2.

Well, I’m done. Now for your amusement….which one is easier for your mind to wrap itself around?

Week 21…Banana v. Beer Bottle

21 Weeks - Banana21 Weeks - Beer Bottle

Week 26…Hothouse Cucumber v. Work Boot


26 Weeks - Hothouse Cucumber26 Weeks - Work Boot

Week 31…4 Navel Oranges v. the big wheel on a Big Wheel Trike

31 Weeks - 4 Navel Oranges31 Weeks - Big Wheel

Week 38…Leek v. Beach Ball

38 Weeks - Leek38 Weeks - Beach Ball

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4 responses to “Size Matters

  1. Paula says:

    This was a fun late night read after telling my husband our unborn child was the size of a ‘hothouse’ cucumber. Actually, I’m pretty good with my veggies and know what they are, but even Walmart labels this a British cucumber and if you ever live in England, they are the only one’s you’ll find. Still easier to imagine the beer bottle though 😛

  2. Sally says:

    Hahahaha I found this blog after reading that my babby was the size of a “hothouse cucumber”…. Of course I had never heard of a “hothouse cucumber”. The only thing I like about the baby bump app is the vegetable comparison each week. The rest is northern hemisphere-centric information that’s trying to influence me to be a brainless mother. Hurrah!

  3. Esti says:

    Omg! Thanks so much for this.
    This stupid app just told me my baby is a rutabaga and I have no clue what that is!
    I also don’t get how baby went from a cantaloupe to a frigging banana and from corn to a rutabaga (which seems to me to be a typenof radish!)

    Just finished laughing at your post and will definitely share with friends.

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